Definition of Self

What defines us?

Most people "find" themselves along life's long path, so for them it's who and what we decide to surround ourselves with. For others that definition is more elusive. It's fascinating to see others not be able to find that which most eludes them - happiness.

I'm reminded of someone I once knew who felt compelled to define herself by her work and by extension, the opinions of her coworkers. The need for being in the "in" crowd and her professional advancement were enough to cloud her better judgment when it came time to define her real friends. It was then I realized that I didn't know this person anymore. Any values she cherished we no longer shared. It later came to light, that I was not the only one who had come to this realization.

In recent days I, myself, have come to appreciate how much I've grown along life's long path. When we were younger, we'd get report cards with grades on how we were behaving. As an adult, it's not so clear to know how we are doing.

I had the extreme satisfaction of attending a friend's wedding recently. We've known each other for the past few years and chat often weekly, but I think we can both can say we are not each other's BFFs. Friends, yes. So why the invitation? When he was laid off from work, I was able to help him in the only way I knew how - by creating a portfolio site for him. That helped him find a job and consequently be stable enough to propose to his beautiful bride to be. As my wife reminded me that day, it's the little selfless things that come back to reward you - both in his friendship and in his trust and confidence to include us in his happiest day. That day I knew I had done well.

And in the end, to a certain extent, I am also defined by what I leave behind - the physical manifestation of me - my kids, the friendships I have made, and the memories that I leave.